The Journey of a Blogger Directory

Here on this blog you are going to find post about a variety of different  topics. This is going to allow us to discuss many different topics. This is going to be a great directory for discovery of many things.


6 steps for coping with fear



Last week I wrote about how to find the positive when you’re not feeling well, something I’ve been struggling a lot with recently. After having had two minor surgeries over the past week (one of which was very unexpected!), I’m actually feeling better than I have in quite some time. However, though my physical pain has subsided somewhat, my emotional distress has increased immensely over the past week due to the more serious, under-anesthesia surgery I’m scheduled to have this week. Having never had “real” surgery before — and also being very iatrophobic — I’ve been struggling a lot with staying positive and present in the face of fear. 

I’ve never encountered a fear like this before. I’ve faced my share of fears, but they’ve always been more abstract and emotional — fear of not succeeding or having my heart broken or taking a big career risk — and much easier to overcome. This fear is incredibly tangible and forceful. It’s physical and has a deadline with a very specific date and time. It’s doing its best to trample my attempts at staying positively present.

But, scared as I am, I’m determined not to let it take over. I’m trying as best I can to make the most of the time I have between now and my surgery date without letting fear rule my life. I know I won’t be able to completely eradicate the fear, but I can learn to cope with it. Here are some of the steps I’ve been taking to cope with my fear. (Note: Though these are highlighted by my specific upcoming-surgery experience, these six steps apply to coping any kind of fear!)


Step 1: Recognize that you’re afraid

The first — and maybe most important — step when it comes to fear is realizing you’re afraid. Fear can manifest itself in all sorts of forms that may make it seem like something it’s not. Personally, I’ve found that a lot of the time when I seem angry or annoyed, I’m actually afraid. It’s not always easy to identify the source of fear, but if you spend time thinking about it (much you as might not want to!), usually the root cause of the fear will be made clear. Also, fear is something we usually want to avoid so sometimes we ignore it or downplay it in order to convince ourselves (or others) that we’re brave. Remind yourself that being afraid isn’t a weakness, and the sooner you recognize the fear, the sooner you can discover ways to cope with it (and hopefully move past it).  


Step 2: Get to the heart of the fear

After you’ve identified what you’re afraid of — for example, for me, I’m afraid of having surgery — it’s time to dig a little deeper and define why you’re afraid. For me, the fear of surgery is actually due to fears of (1) not being in control, (2) not knowing exactly how I’ll feel when I wake up, and (3) not having experienced anything like this before (aka, fear of the unknown). When trying to get to the root cause of fear, it’s helpful to ask these questions:

  • Have I ever been afraid of this before?
  • What are you really afraid of?
  • What makes you feel more afraid of it? Less afraid? 
  • How do you feel when you’re afraid? (Physically and mentally)
  • When are you most likely to feel afraid? 
  • Does your fear have a purpose? 

Recognizing what causes the fear, when you experience it most, and what’s at the heart of it will help with the coping process. Also, sometimes simply understanding why you’re experiencing something can make it a bit easier to manage, making the coping process a bit easier. 


Step 3: See fear as an opportunity

Fear is no fun to experience, but it’s often presented to you as an opportunity to take on a challenge, overcome a difficult situation, or grow stronger and braver. (Cliche, I know, but I swear it’s true!) In the midst of fear, it can be difficult to find the opportunities there, but it’s worth considering what they might be, especially because this is an excellent exercise in striving to find the good in a bad situation. For example, in my situation, I’ve spent my entire life being iatrophobic, terrified of doctors, needles, any sort of medical procedure. Though I’m currently still quite scared, I’m hoping this experience will make me braver and make it easier to cope with any medical situation I encounter in the future. I also know for a fact that this situation has made me so grateful for my health and once this is all over with I’ll have grown more appreciative of what it means to be healthy. 


Step 4: Focus on your body

The way your body reacts to situations and thoughts can give you a lot of clues about how you’re feeling, especially when it comes to fear. For example, you might tense up when hearing unpleasant news before you’ve even actually processed what it means. Or your heart might start racing when you think about an upcoming presentation. Our bodies give us so much information about our emotions, and we can use that information to our advantage. For example, if your palms start sweating and your mind starts racing when you start thinking of something you’re afraid of, it might be a good time to try the 4-7-8 breathing technique. Or if you find your heart beating really fast, you might want to try progressive muscle relaxation. Paying attention to the body’s reaction to fear is useful because you can then counteract those reactions with more positive ones (deep breaths, relaxing muscles, etc.). 


Step 5: Distract yourself from the fear

Last week, I wrote a little bit about distraction in my post about finding sunshine when you’re under the weather, but I’m bringing it up again now because it’s been a lifesaver for me lately. Seriously, if I didn’t have a ton of great distractions, I’d probably be curled up in a ball shaking in fear for the next few days! Fear and anxiety can spiral out of control very quickly if they’re allowed free reign in the mind,  and one of the best ways to keep it under control is to focus on something other than the fear. Over the past week, I’ve become a master at distraction, doing anything I can to focus on anything other than my upcoming surgery. Here are some of my favorite distractions: reading, writing, watching movies (especially old favorites), grown-up coloring books, jigsaw puzzles, crossword puzzles, and being around other people. When I’m distracted, fear doesn’t completely dissipate, but coping with it is much easier. 


Step 6: Visualize the best case scenario

One of the most scary things about my upcoming surgery is that I don’t know exactly what kind of surgery I’m having until the surgeon begins the procedure. There are a variety of situations that could happen, ranging from not-too-bad to ugh-whyyyyy. My mind has, unfortunately, been wandering toward the negative side of things, imagining what will happen if I have to have the more complex surgery (that often involves additional surgery), but thinking this way is doing me no good. What I need to be doing is focusing on the best case scenario and visualizing that as my outcome. I read this quote recently and it’s so true: “Worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.” Instead of focusing on what’s the worst that could happen, it’s much better to take a look at your fear and ask yourself this, “What would it be like if everything goes perfectly?”


Though I’m admittedly still battling a lot of fear about my upcoming surgery, these six steps have really helped me to better cope with my fear. If you’re facing any kind of fear or change in your life, I hope these steps will help you too!

I’m not sure exactly how long I’ll be in recovery so if you don’t see posts from me in the next couple of weeks, don’t worry — I’ll be back as soon as I can sit up and write again! In the meantime, I’ll probably still be posting over on Instagram (@positivelypresent) so follow along over there for some daily bits of positivity. :)




Facing fears can offer up a great opportunity to reconnect with yourself. Start some soul-searching with the Finding Yourself workbook. Discover more about yourself, and uncover what you want most by downloading a copy of the e-book Finding Yourself: A Soul-Searching Workbook for Surprising Self Discovery. Filled with inspiration, questions, and activities to get you thinking about what it means to be you, Finding Yourself is a must for learning more about who you are and about what matters most to you. Learn more about the workbook here and purchase your own soul-searching copy here.

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What You Need To Know About Online Video Platforms

onlinevideo On this 10th anniversary of the first video being uploaded to YouTube, it’s important to look at how the online video industry has changed in the last two years — because the changes have been as significant as those that started 10 years ago. Read More

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NBAPA wants to use new TV money to cover health insurance for former players

The NBAPA is putting the league’s new TV money to good use.

The NBA is flush with new television revenue, and the players association has come up with one uplifting way to spend it. The NBAPA is hoping to use the new TV money to get health insurance coverage for former players, according to Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo! Sports. The plan would cost between $10-15 million per year.

The league is aiming to offer three separate health care options to former players, according to Wojnarowski. Michele Roberts, the new head of the NBAPA, was reportedly moved by stories of former players being unable to afford basic health care needs after years of sacrificing their bodies for the good of the league. The union is reportedly ready to pass the plan and start covering former players soon.

The league’s new TV money will come into effect in 2016, and will give the NBA $2.6 billion. The salary cap is set to explode starting next season, which means an increase in both team revenue and player salaries. Now some of this money will be set aside for former players who helped make the NBA what it is before so much new cash entered the league.

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3 Reasons You Should Sell Your Business

Owners who ponder over selling their business do not always do so out of financial desperation or trouble but usually because they are looking for the next opportunity.

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Facebook Tests Features That Make Sharing GIFs In Messenger Easier Than Ever

GIFgif Facebook really wants you to use GIFs inside Messenger. The company recently unleashed a series of GIF apps from third-parties which work inside Messenger — as part of its Messenger platform initiative — but it is now going beyond that with a series of pilots that bring GIFs right into Messenger without those apps. Read More

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USA vs. Japan lineup: Team news for the 2015 World Cup final

Jill Ellis has kept all of the team together that got the USWNT to the final against Japan.

This has been a big year of firsts for United States midfielder Morgan Brian, and now the 22-year-old gets to add another: first World Cup final. Jill Ellis has kept her in the starting XI after two consecutive great performances, as she keeps the entire team that beat Germany intact.

Only one spot was thought to be a little bit in doubt coming into this game — right wing. Tobin Heath has had a solid tournament, but the USWNT has a variety of different players who can play on the right wing and offer different things to the team. But after they put together such a great performance against Germany, Ellis decided she didn’t want to make any changes.

Japan’s lineups aren’t out quite yet, and this post will be updated when they are announced.

United States lineup (4-2-3-1): Hope Solo; Meghan Klingenberg, Julie Johnston, Becky Sauerbrunn, Ali Krieger; Morgan Brian, Lauren Holiday; Megan Rapinoe, Carli Lloyd, Tobin Heath; Alex Morgan

Japan lineup: To be announced.

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Police kill gunman inside posh downtown Austin hotel

AUSTIN, Texas (Reuters) – An early Sunday shootout in the lobby of a swank downtown Austin hotel ended when police killed a man after he apparently randomly gunned down another person, police said.

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How To Not Post Crappy Pics Of Fireworks This Fourth Of July

The temptation will be great. The urge will be strong. Watching sky-based explosions, geared toward entertainment and celebration, can be a powerful experience. And in the Instagram Age, the powerful experiences are the ones we want to share. But the July 5th edition of Instagram usually sucks pretty hard, based mostly on blurry, drunkenly captured photos of fireworks. This guide should help… Read More

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Red Sox game features billboard for a ‘GIANT ASS’

The “Giants Glass Company” of New England had a simple dream: To advertise in Fenway Park. That advertising strategy failed on Saturday when an inconsiderate player made a mockery of their sign.

Don’t call the number. There are no giant asses for sale … that we know of.

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America celebrates July 4 with hot dogs, banners and barbecues

NEW YORK (Reuters) – Americans marched in star-spangled parades, ran relay races, gathered for fireworks shows and crowned a new world hot dog eating champion as they celebrated Independence Day in traditional style on Saturday.

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positively present picks: july 3, 2015




“I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives.
I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him.”

Abraham Lincoln



The Magic of Emotional Clearing : get rid of all that emotional clutter

23 Emotions People Feel But Can’t Explain : loved learning these words

When You’re Feeling Low : this 7-year-old’s song is uplifting and good

Anxiety / Self-Care Temporary Tattoos : I absolutely love these

Love the Necessary Hard Work : I love the gratitude behind this

10 Ways to Lift Yourself Up : whenever you feel you’ve fallen…

You Are a Grown Up : that means you can do what you want!

The Native Society : check out my interview with The Native Society

Say “I’m Proud of You” : you’ll absolutely make someone’s day

Inspiring Desktop Backgrounds : love these freebies via That Noise Gal

10 Affirmations to Recover from Disappointment : lift yourself up

PURPOSE Jewelry : this jewelry line gives back big time. love that!

When You Feel Like Giving Up : 15 reminders to get you back on track

Grown-Up Coloring Books : so good for reducing stress!



Listen to this playlist on YouTube.

“American Girl” — Tom Petty
“Warm Blood” — FLOR
“American Girls” — Counting Crows
“Rearview” — Andra Day
“Irrational” — Fjord
“American Oxygen” — Rihanna
“Wildfire” — Scavenger Hunt
“Firework” (Cover) — Jenny Lane
“July Flame” (Remix) — Laura Veirs
“Free” —Ryn Weaver



Check out my reading list on GoodReads.

You Can Think Differently
Caterina Rando

The Picture of Dorian Gray
Oscar Wilde

I wrote a book too! Check it out…

The Positively Present Guide to Life
Dani DiPirro


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Experiential Commerce Is The Next Billion-Dollar Opportunity For Developers

escalator Technology has transformed entire industries over the past decade, from travel and transportation to media and real estate. While commerce has enjoyed some innovation, its transformation is far from over. The next frontier is “Commerce Everywhere,” which blends online and offline experiences to let you make purchases wherever and whenever you want. Read More

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2015 Wimbledon scores and results: Serena Williams avoids upset, Novak Djokovic victorious Friday

Serena Williams narrowly avoided an upset in the third round of Wimbledon on Friday.

Serena Williams narrowly avoided an upset at the hands of unseeded Heather Watson on Friday. Williams fought off an early exit after dropping the second set and falling behind in the third set, ultimately besting Watson, 6-2, 4-6, 7-5.

Williams had been dominant in her first two matches at this year’s tournament, and had won the previous two Grand Slams already this year. She looked like she hadn’t lost a step one bit and seemed poised to dominate Wimbledon. But Watson wasn’t shaken by Williams’ power and handled her business in the final two sets. She came up just short though, and Williams is on to the Round of 16.

Watson took an early 2-0 lead in the third set after breaking Williams to start it, and threatened a break again with a 2-0 lead. They reached deuce multiple times, with Watson eventually scoring to break Williams and go up 3-0. Things went back the other way on her next service game, however, as Williams threatened a break multiple times. Unfortunately, Watson had multiple double faults, and you can’t give Williams that kind of opportunity. After six break point attempts, Williams got one through to make it 3-1.

Williams held her serve without issue, and Watson seemed to be on her way to that as well when Williams started battling back and we got to deuce once again. Williams was successful again, and broke her to get back on serve. Watson threatened a break herself, but Williams held to go up 4-3. Watson got her groove back in the following game, holding serve before breaking Williams’s serve in dominant fashion to go up 5-4. Williams again fought back and scored a break to get back on serve, however. She then held serve and broke Watson to avoid the upset.

Men’s top seed Novak Djokovic made short work of No. 27 seed Bernard Tomic, besting him in straight sets, 6-3, 6-3, 6-3. It’s good that Djokovic is looking so strong, as both Roger Federer, the tournament’s No. 2 seed and Andy Murray, the No. 3 seed, both made it through Thursday with no issues whatsoever. It’s still a tight race at the top, though the three of them were likely glad to see No. 10 seed Rafael Nadal bounced out in the second round by Dustin Brown.

Nadal is always a threat and could have eliminated any one of these guys in the right conditions (he was set to meet Murray the earliest), but it’s mostly looking like the top three guys will be battling it out for this year’s title. Well, No. 4 seed Stan Wawrinka might have something to say about that. Wawrinka bested Djokovic in the finals at Roland Garros, denying the World No. 1 his first title at the French Open. He also downed his third-round opponent, Fernando Verdasco, without issue on Friday, 6-4, 6-3, 6-4.

Below, we’ve got results from the pertinent singles matches (updated as they finish). For full results, go to the official Wimbledon site here.

Men’s Singles

No. 21 Richard Gasquet def. No. 11 Grigor Dimitrov, 6-3, 6-4, 6-4
No. 1 Novak Djokovic def. No. 27 Bernard Tomic, 6-3, 6-3, 6-3
No. 4 Stan Wawrinka def. Fernando Verdasco, 6-4, 6-3, 6-4
No. 26 Nick Kyrgios def. No. 7 Milos Raonic, 5-7, 7-5, 7-6(3), 6-3
No. 9 Marin Cilic vs. No. 17 John Isner, 7-6(4), 6-7(6), 6-4, 6-7(4), 10-10 (to finish)    
No. 16 David Goffin def. Marcos Baghdatis, 6-3, 6-4, 6-2
No. 14 Kevin Anderson def. No. 24 Leonardo Mayer, 6-4, 7-6(6), 6-3
Denis Kudla def. Santiago Giraldo, 6-, 6-7(3), 2-6, 6-1, 6-3

Women’s Singles

No. 1 Serena Williams def. Heather Watson, 6-2, 4-6, 7-5
No. 4 Maria Sharapova def. No. 29 Irina-Camelia Begu, 6-4, 6-3
No. 6 Lucie Safarova def. Sloane Stephens, 3-6, 6-3, 6-1
Zarina Diyas def. No. 14 Andrea Petkovic, 7-5, 6-4    
No. 16 Venus Williams def. Aleksandra Krunic, 6-3, 6-2    
Coco Vandeweghe def. No. 22 Samantha Stosur, 6-2, 6-0
No. 23 Victoria Azarenka def. Kristina Mladenovic, 6-4, 6-4    
No. 30 Belinda Bencic def. Bethanie Mattek-Sands, 7-5, 7-5

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Solar-powered plane lands in Hawaii, pilot sets nonstop record

(Reuters) – A Swiss man attempting to circumnavigate the globe with an aircraft powered only by the sun’s energy landed in Hawaii on Friday, after a record-breaking five-day nonstop solo flight across the Pacific Ocean from Japan.

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Smigin Is a Foreign Language Tool That Doesn’t Make You Sound Like A Tourist

unnamed If you’ve ever tried to learn a foreign language, you probably know that most existing methods focus on aspects of the language that aren’t very helpful in everyday life. For example, newcomers to a language are often first taught the names of animals or colors, words that aren’t normally applicable to the common traveler. Smigin aims to fix this problem with its app… Read More

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Iman Shumpert looks like an anglerfish now

The offseason can be a wild time for some NBA players. Iman Shumpert on the other hand is happy chilling outside with the latest hair style OH WAIT WHAT I’M ONLY LOOKING CLOSELY NOW.

To be fair, Shump did just get PAID; he can do whatever the hell he wants this summer.

When probed by reporters as to why he changed his hair:

I dreaded it up for a little bit bro.

Fair enough, bro!

H/T to TMZ

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